It has been while since I wrote one of these posts. The boys are getting older and now they are involved in so many different activities and sports that my calendar is overrun by their daily events instead of mine. I’m not complaining though, I love it. I love the fact that they are social little people that are interested in so many things. We have created and built this life here that has become routined and expected which is what they like.
Which leads me to this major decision. Since their Dad has been a little more involved in their lives as he has spent more time with them this year. Last year, he had a week with them in the summer and they spent spring break and two weeks with him this summer. But one day out of the blue, their Dad asked if he could have them for a one year or two once they get older. Have them actually live with him and he would take care of their needs. So of course I am hesitant, although this is something that I would have considered if he was more prominent in their lives and closer but his engagement with them from a distance is still minimal. He texts and calls them sporadically and doesn’t really know them like he should. For example, my oldest gets anxiety and while he was out there visiting him his anxiety heighten on several occasions and didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell his Dad. I am not sure why but he did not want to go into full details. So that was a concern for me.
So as a compromise, I suggested the boys can spend the whole summer with him next year. I feel like the request he made to have them a whole year was a big jump and needed to be thought out more. However I did talk with the boys about visiting him for the whole summer and they were not as excited as I thought that would be. They actually suggested one month instead of the whole summer as they want to spend time with their friends and family at home too. I talked to some friends about this. More people say I should let him have them for one month instead of the whole summer and a few others say let him have them the whole summer. I keep going back and forth. Still trying to decide on what would be best.
These are the kind of decisions that are difficult to make. I don’t want to force them to do something they don’t want to do but then I feel like it may be needed. Has anyone experienced this as a child of parents who co-parent or went through this as well as a parent? Let me know, drop your comments below!
Love laughs and full of smiles