Single Parent Life (Ch. 4)


family_photo5By: Cher

There comes a time in our life as a mom when we need to cut the string from our little ones. My time is coming soon, and I am on edge. Recently, a mom of my oldest son’s friend asked me if it was okay for my son to sleepover. All I heard in my mind was “skurrrrrrrr… pump your brakes ma’am. My son is not ready for all of that.” She went on to tell me how they have had sleepovers with other kids at the school and how much the kids love it. I sat back and thought to myself, “Am I behind in the sleepover stage? Have kids been sleeping over all this time at each other’s homes and now my son has finally got the pleasure of being asked?” I was a little unsure on how I should play this out.

As a kid, sleepovers, or as we call them in the black community “spending the night”, were designated for family members or close friends of the family. It is normal to have your cousins or friends that you have known since birth spending the night at your house. These memorable times are where you learn new dance moves, learn to put on makeup, try new hairstyles and watch movies all hours of the night. That starts roughly around the age of seven or eight. Then you hit the age of eleven and the previous age of innocence turns into the actions of pre-adolescent teens. Sleepovers are opened up to friends from school and the neighborhood. Your actions lead you all to start prank calling boys or girls you are crushing on, or leaving the houses in the late hours of the night to meet up with other friends to do things that teenagers do, if you get what I am saying, lol.  Those were the good ol’ days and nowadays I don’t know what these kids are doing! That is another thing that makes me uncertain, even though they are in grade school, they are exposed to so many different things on YouTube and social media. No matter how much restriction or usage you put on these tablets, these kids find a way to find any and everything.

The friend’s mom could tell I was hesitant. I explained how my oldest has never experienced a sleepover and I am not sure if I was ready for that; not my son…but me. Am I being crazy? Am I being over protective? Am I being the not cool mom?  Is this the one phase to help him grow? I was just having so much hesitation and thinking about all the things that could go wrong.

Now, my family has spent time with this family before. We are involved in activities together and have been on play dates, so I know the family is a good family. In my mind, I feel like as long as I am around nothing bad can happen. How untrue that really is, but I feel more confident that I can protect my children better then anyone can. So, the mom invited us over, probably so that I could check out the house and to put me at ease. I am sure that she wanted to confirm that they were not psychos or weirdos living and breathing as normal people.  As you know, I did check out the home just to confirm that everything was cool.  It was.

I write this to help put me at ease. My oldest will experience his first sleepover in a few weeks. I decided to give it a try. Maybe he will like it or maybe he won’t, but at least I am giving him the opportunity to experience it for himself. I can’t be there to protect him from everything, but I can protect him from most things. I know if something goes down, he can call me and I will be there… outside, waiting… because I never left. Lol.

Love life and full of smiles


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  1. I completely understand. With so many “things” going on today, we have become more protective than before of our children and there where abouts. This is not back in the day when we could leave the house and return when the street lights came on. Spending the night is an activity that we have discussed in my home. If I have met the parents and the children, been given all contact info and feel comfortable with the situation…. I may consider it. If I agree to it, I tell me kids not to be surprised if I am peeking in the windows at night while there are there. To this day, I’d rather have the kids over my house because I am able to chaperone make sure my babies are safe😍

  2. This reminds me of the good ‘ol days when you would come over, or spend the night. I remember your mom would always ask if my mom was home. I never really understood why your mom wouldn’t let you come if it was just my dad home. I remember telling you many times to tell her that he was not a pedophile! Lol! Now that I’m a mom, and have a daughter–I get it! I totally get it! The thought of ever letting her out of my sight is terrifying!!! I don’t trust anyone! Just like you said… no one can take care of her better than me. I hope that changes as she gets older, but the world we live in is so different than the one we grew up in! You’ll have to write a follow up once your baby has his first official sleepover!

    • Lol. Right! Now, I am doing things my mom was doing when we were kids. Don’t be surprised when I am outside the club for hours reading my tablet waiting for the club to end. 🙂 lol. Memories. But it is definitely funny how when we were kids, those things would get on our nerves and now as parents we see the potential danger. I will definitely keep you all posted. Thanks for reading!

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