It’s Not a Match



By: Cher

Swipe left, swipe right… is this the new way to date? Some people would say yes and others would say, no… it’s just a way for people to hook-up. This new era of digital dating has changed the way people interact and has moved people to date without even physically meeting someone. So, I ask myself….is dating digitally for me? I’ve asked myself numerous times when did meeting people online become the normal thing to do?  I’m an outgoing person. I love to meet people and to me this new way of dating is still ambiguous to me. How can you connect with someone emotionally and you have never met them in person? I don’t know…I am still trying to figure it out.

Trying Tinder for the first time was like a kid in the candy store. All these available men who were different shades and sizes that I get to choose from…YES!!! I couldn’t be more excited until I found out after talking with a friend that it was yet another dating site for people to hook-up. I was bummed. I didn’t want to just hook up with people around the city. For one, this city is a nice size but it’s still small. Two, I wasn’t going to drive to another city just to meet someone for one time.  And three, why did it have to be a hook-up site??!! I hadn’t tried the various dating sites like, Christian Mingle or the other hundreds of sites out there. Dating online was becoming too much work. I want a one-stop shop without having to go to numerous places to shop around. Doesn’t that sound weird??? Shopping around for a man.

My next thought was maybe I should let them come to me. Have you ever slid into someone’s DM or had someone DM you? It’s funny how crazy people can be when trying to get your attention. Have you ever felt like you have been catfished? I will admit, it is funny at times when I respond with a crazy response just to get a reaction from my DMer. It makes me wonder if people feel more confident reaching out to someone through a direct message for the fear of being shut down face-to-face. Maybe it is easier to reach out to someone online because they really don’t know who you are so when you do shut them down, they can move on to the next one and they don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed. I think I prefer to be shut down face-to-face with someone so that I know that it’s a wrap!

Dating in my 30’s is challenging…let me say it again… it’s challenging. Taking care of my children, working and keeping myself together takes up a lot of my time. Entertaining someone takes up additional time that I just don’t want to give. I thought maybe dating digitally would help, but it is just as exhausting. I don’t want to be a membership number to all these random dating sites and toss away tons of money to find the one. I also don’t one to be on these apps, swiping my life away.  I ask myself, is it really worth my time?

If you are a single or still dating in your 30s, what kind of tips do you have with online dating? Put your answers below and let me know!

Love live and full of smiles


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